Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Gossip Girl Makes You Stupid

I started watching Gossip Girl last week, and I immediately became concerned about how it was affecting my mental capacities. The only thing worse than the dialogue in this show is the acting. Seriously, I think I could do a better job than the girl who plays Jenny.

I kept watching it, though, because everything about it is so pretty. And we all know that that's the only thing that matters.

So after a week of living vicariously through that gorgeously idiotic nightmare of a television drama, I found myself stopped at a red light. I was sitting there for a while before I realized that the sun was shining directly behind the light and making it impossible for me tell what color it was. I peeked at the lady in the car behind me via my rearview mirror, and I thought she looked kind of pissed. I decided that this meant that the light had turned green and she was mad at me for continuing to sit there. Naturally, I was confident enough in my ability to interpret a stranger's facial expression that I risked my life and that of others' by driving through the intersection.  I soon learned, thanks to the blaring horns, that the light had not, in fact, turned green yet.

It was literally hours before I realized that all I had to do to determine when the light had changed was to wait for the car that was traveling in the other direction and stopped on the opposite side of the intersection to go.

Then, a few days later, I was cleaning up dirt that my cat had dug out of the pot that houses my aloe plant. I made multiple trips to the trash can to throw the dirt away before it occurred to me just put it back in the pot from whence it came.

That night I decided to read a book instead of watching Gossip Girl.

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